"Diplomacy and negotiating skills are key." Being civil with your ex may encourage more flexibility in terms of custody, and potentially more time with your kids."If divorced spouses have a working relationship, they can agree to informally bypass some stipulations," Finley says."Tell the woman you've just been through a tough divorce and that you're not ready for a committed relationship," he suggests."Acknowledge that it is not the right time for that." After a divorce, it's easy for guys to let themselves become isolated, especially if the ex gets custody of the kids. It can worsen feelings of depression, guilt, and loneliness, a potentially dangerous mix."She can meet the kids when you know you are serious." Don't make the mistake of continuing to fight with your ex, especially if children are involved."You don't want to be seen as an enemy or an antagonist but as a co-parent," says Arizona State University professor emeritus of psychology Sanford L. "I'm not saying that that will be easy, but everybody will be better off." Braver, co-author of Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths, recommends that men consider conflict and anger management classes.We also use this information to show you ads for similar films you may like in the future.
There's a possible silver lining to divorce if they put in the work, however.Buser says that men often jump into dating because they're lonely, vulnerable, and sad, and they're looking for someone to help them feel better."The relationships they start do not often work out in the long run," he says. I've never had a man take me up on that advice, but I do try to slow them down." He also advises men to date casually at first.Too many men seek out a new relationship before the dust has settled on their divorce, says psychologist Sam J.Buser, Ph D, coauthor of The Guys-Only Guide to Getting Over Divorce.