Dating for big guys and girls

In Rochester everyone appeared to me as clones, walking down school halls clad in American Eagle apparel with Aroma Joe’s coffee cups in hand, but at TU everything clicked.

Gay, bisexual, straight, transgender, black, white, Asian, it was there and it was beautiful. “I can’t believe you dumped me for a n*%$#@.” Telling your parents about your new boyfriend is hard enough when his skin is the same color as yours, but it becomes even more difficult when he is at the opposite end of the color spectrum as you.

Transit -- from buses and taxis all the way to airplanes -- can lead to downright hostile environments.

I'm not likely to fit on most of the rides at the amusement park and the thought of eating a meal sitting in a rickety plastic chair puts me on high alert.

Dating as a polyamorous woman brings with it a lifetime's worth of misconceptions and jealousies.

Add a few extra layers of fat to that experience, and things can get depressing real fast.

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I don't know what the motivation is for guys who try to get me on their shoulders at concerts or attempt to lift me gently into bed.

I love Netflix and whatever as much as the next girl, sure -- but I also love art galleries and movie theaters and poetry readings!

And yes, I even enjoy going out for a good meal if you can manage not to make a big deal out of it.

As a non-single, fat, polyamorous woman, I can't tell you how often I've been questioned about my confidence, self-worth, who I am, and why I'm into what I'm into.

If literally the only reason you are interested in me is because I'm fat, you might want to take a step back and get to know a bit about me first. When you tell me I'm not, what you are really saying is that despite my body size, I'm not all those horrible things you tend to associate with fatness.

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