If you want to, of course, you don’t have to tell him all of our secrets). You may have noticed that the average white dude does not flirt/kick game/holla at a woman in the same way that the average black dude does. He kept calling it “hanging out.” And on these “dates” he didn’t say anything about my body, whether he liked it or what he wanted to do with it — you know standard black dude cues for “I have a romantic interest in you.”White men are super subtle. Because if Chad is shy, and a lot of white dudes are shy, he may get defensive or skittish and say, “No, no, we’re just hanging out.” And that would kill the vibe. If the answer to most or all of these is yes, it may be a date.
White men generally flirt in the same way that they conduct business meetings. That’s why I say you may already be dating one because you may have misconstrued the seemingly platonic hangouts you’ve been having with Chad as non romantic, but to him, it’s a date. You may be tempted to be direct and flat out ask him, “Hey Chad, is this a date? Sensitive white dudes scare easily so tread lightly. I wouldn’t get thrown off by whether he makes a move on the first few of these “dates.” Like I said, they can be subtle and shy and slooooow, so give it some time.
Doesn’t mean people can’t change and grow if they want to.
Just means, I think you should take some of the pressure off of yourself to find some perfect racially unbiased white man.
The first few meals may be akin to the dinner scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom ( my personal fav of the Indiana Jones franchise) wherein Kate Capshaw gave the most incredible facial reactions of all time to crazy ass food like monkey brains and eyeball soup.
Anyway, I digress, you will find something you like even if you end up settling on a piece of fruit.
By the way, lacrosse and soul train are stand-ins for whatever that means for you and your would be Chad.
So by past I mean either, he’s never dated a black girl before and he knows nothing about us or he’s only dated black girls and is obsessed with us. If he’s a total newbie, I think it’s ok if he learns on the job.
Also, tell the truth, it’s not just white people who differ on recipes, you know one of your Aunts makes potato salad in a weird way which is why she’s not allowed to bring it to family functions anymore.
Hate to break it to you sis, but he’s a white person who has grown up in western society so he can’t help but be racist/prejudiced/biased etc. We as black women even have crazy distorted thoughts about ourselves because of it, so he’s certainly not going to be immune.
That way there will be at least one dish there that you like.
And, what I’ve done many times is to offer to help cook the meal.