Connecting Moments It’s not the size of the gesture that matters, nor is it the outcome. When people try to understand the reasons for the drifting, they often chalk it up to life circumstances, personality, or their partner’s behavior. In reality, though, the the quality of a relationships is the sum of the small choices each person makes every day.Sara didn’t need to agree to move, and David didn’t have to give up his job in order to forge the bond of love for which they both longed. Sometimes tiny miscalculations can be expensive, as they were for the Mars mission.
The sense of a shared journey comes from how you say goodbye in the morning, whether you’re home for dinner when you say you’ll be, the tone of your voice when you’re frustrated. Even so, it’s the sum of all those simple actions over the hours and days of your relationship that bring about the feelings of love and commitment. He heads into another room to answer a few last minute emails before sitting down at the table at . None of these choices are “right,” and what he did was not “wrong.” However, he did miss an opportunity to show love and support. Later that evening David told Sara he was tired of long work hours.
Drifting apart “We’re drifting apart,” Sara said during our first meeting. They got along well enough, but lived more like roommates than a married couple. Friends lose touch, colleagues move on, children forget to write home. But much more often there are reasons for the greater distance. “We have completely different interests,” David added.
Sara and David each had a story about how it happened. They made these statements as if they were road-blocking obstacles, landslides that covered the path ahead.
They were incredibly busy once their kids were born. In my experience, though, there are different personalities and different interests in the best of relationships. The events that shape relationships are usually hidden in the mundane interactions of daily life.
Sara was a stay-at-home mom for five years, and struggled alone with infants and toddlers. He worked long hours a technology startup, and the two of them rarely saw each other. A small miscalculation Remember the Mars Climate Orbiter that was lost on Mars in 1999?