I am married and not looking for a physical hook up. I will send pics only after I feel comfortable with who am talking with.
When I drop you off and give you a polite kiss on the cheek and thank you for a wonderful evening, our eyes will meet and I’ll just know deep inside from that special look in your eyes that soon enough, you’ll be letting me do you up the ass. At least let me get to second base; the tickets cost me ! Send us a recent pic of you in a bikini and we’ll decide if you’re hot enough to impress the other shallow assholes on boats. I will suddenly and unexpectedly throw in an unrealistic weight requirement. We can cuddle and watch movies, go out and eat, go bowling, whatever. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company and see where it goes. Rather, I choose to believe that by pure coincidence, all of my exes have just been completely fucking nuts!
Trust me, I’m the ONLY guy on Craig’s List who isn’t just trying to get into your pants. I’ll pull out your chair, hold the door open for you, and send you dozens of roses. I’m just some dried-up old creep who will probably make your skin crawl when you touch me, but I work at Dell and I have enough money to woo some pathetic University of Texas co-ed into giving me a hand job every now and then in exchange for a new wardrobe from Urban Outfitters. On our second date, I expect to have our children’s names picked out. I’m a REAL man and I want a REAL woman who still believes that REAL love is possible! More accurately, I’m lonely and I can’t get laid, so I bought an extra ticket so that some freeloading bitch will be my date just to see a free concert. We’re a bunch of completely shallow losers, but one of us owns a boat, and so we’d like to look really cool on the lake this weekend with a bunch of Playboy-type girls drinking beer and grinding to the top 40 on the bow of our boat. I refuse to think that I’m only attracted to psychos, or *gasp* that I might be perceiving everyone else as crazy when in fact I’m the one who’s nuts.
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